Like many edgy teenagers, I once embraced nihilism—the belief that nothing matters, that existence is fundamentally meaningless. I could write a book on how strongly I subscribed to this area of thought, but that’s not the point of this post; you’ll have to trust that the following comes from someone who climbed out of the pit:

Everything matters. And that’s even scarier.

I still don’t believe in broad concepts like “meaning” or “fulfillment”. I believe in biological reactions that make something feel meaningful or fulfilling. Those reactions are what matters, and I think nihilism’s pull is strongest on those who lack them. But we can hack our minds.

We want to feel our lives our meaningful, that they are worth living. If your life lacks meaning, there is a good chance you believe one of the following:

1. Life inherently has no meaning, and nothing will change that.
2. Life will only have meaning once you have a family, dream job, etc.

There’s a secret third belief on the table, though—secret in the sense that everyone knows it, but nearly nobody believes it:

3. Life has as much meaning as you give it.

Each compliment you give to a stranger can make their day. A stranger complimented a jacket I had in September 2024, and I still remember it, because no stranger ever complimented my clothes before.

What’s crazy is that anyone can do this at any time, most just choose not to. It’s free, and usually has positive effects.

A few more things that have a huge (but often invisible) return on investment:

• Remembering someone’s birthday (+1 for getting them a gift)
• Telling someone you’re enjoying a gift they got you
• Remembering small details that someone told you (the project they were working on, their best friend’s name, etc)
• Getting someone flowers (for a partner, milestone, etc)
• Complimenting strangers (without being creepy)
• Smiling at people
• Inviting people to grab dinner
• Asking genuine questions when listening to someone talk about their passion
• Checking if someone is OK

People live life believing their actions mostly don’t matter. They unnecessarily ghost, show up late, forget important details, back out of commitments, or fail to show up when they’re needed. Everyone acts unbothered, but we notice, and it hurts. Why wouldn’t the opposite be true?

I don’t know why I started trying to put effort into the little things—probably to further convince myself nothing matters and thus justify my position. But that’s not how our mind works. We feel meaning when we make others happy, especially others who feel forgotten, because in that moment, we matter to them. At least a little bit.