Wikipedia translates the Greek philosophical concept of Eudaimonia as “Human Flourishing”, particularly on the spiritual level. It refers to genuine happiness and fulfillment over hedonism or GDP.

The modern world feels meaningless at times. Instead of hunting or farming to put food on the table, many of us sit at a computer or stand behind a counter, far removed from the fruits of our labor—if our labor even bears fruit. Our screens bombard us with videos of people more beautiful and successful than we could ever hope to be while we stay inside, alone.

Life is no longer a struggle for survival for many of us; it’s a struggle for meaning. We evolved to invoke happiness and fulfillment in completely different conditions than those in which we now reside. Like a camera trying to take pictures in the dark.

I’ve struggled immensely to find meaning and pride in the past, but I’ve found my light recently, and I wanted to write it down.

I’ve always held anger towards myself, to the point where I eventually collapsed. When I put myself back together over the following ten months, the anger didn’t disappear, but scattered, into hundreds of tiny thoughts, impulsive comments, and subconscious beliefs. To stop these ideas from coalescing back into a goliath of gloom, I began to read books on zen, to some success.

I ended up taking a four-month internship across the country. I was isolated, away from friends and family, and probably talking to ChatGPT more than real people. Strangely, despite this, I thrived. I started focusing more on myself: I began fasting, took better care of my appearance, found my sense of style, and watched videos on improving my communication skills. I started to fill in the gaps in my knowledge of history and world politics. I becme the person who I wanted to be. Both my confidence and competence skyrocketed.

Life is full of many cognitive plagues, things that will always bother you somewhere deep down. Whether it’s your appearance, your intelligence, your family, your job, it just never sits quite right. I wasn’t living a bad life before, but I still had these persistent, negative feelings. The difference in how I feel now is night and day. I feel like I’m nearing my true potential.

All I had to do is, well, everything. For the many sources of negative thoughts, I had to actually try to deal with it to some extent, and make progress. I’m not the most attractive guy in the world, but at least I feel comfortable with my hair quality now. I’m not the best speaker, but I’ve learned to slow down and speak with clarity and confidence.

Nietzsche describes the concept of the Overman, which I interpret as “the ideal version of ourselves”. We can’t permanently reach this ideal, but we can strive for it, and, for brief periods, embody it. The overman serves as a guide; I’d literally ask myself, ‘What would my overman do?’ and then do that, because the answer was always obvious.

We often focus our efforts on improving one aspect of our lives, like our career or health, which is important, but always leaves another aspect with which we are dissatisfied. I now feel like I’m satisfied with every aspect of myself. I’m not perfect, not by a long shot, but there’s no longer parts of myself that I truly despise.

I won’t feel this way forever. I’ll break down again, and hopefully, get back up once more. But I wanted to log these thoughts while they are still fresh, so I (or someone else) can find strength.